Went down to vote today, thought I might as well cos the polling station is on my fucking street.

The fat cunt at the desk was being an arse for some reason, said I wasn't on the list - then his boss came over and told him he was looking at the wrong street name. He found my name and asked me for ID - normally they don't, but as I mentioned we're dealing with a fat cunt here - so I pull out my fake ID with fake address and fake DOB. As soon as I put it on the table I realised, grabbed it back and gave him the real one, he knew what had happened and was about to lose his shit.

Told him "oh that's my brother's" and handed him the other, by this point he was going ape shit and got his boss over again - she was a decent looking lass about my age so I worked the charm and she told him it was fine like she did the first time.

Anyway, cast my vote (Brexit Party for London if you must know) and put it in the box. Went outside and lit a hash zoot before walking home and realised he'd actually followed me out the polling station to make sure I'd left lol. There's no CCTV, he's the only guy that saw anything and his boss couldn't have given fewer fucks so I'm doubtful anything will happen.